童年回憶

Dear Esther,

高興知道你剛從多倫多順利地完成工作回來。除了工作外，有沒有順道在那邊四處逛一下？

溫哥華這兩個月終於回暖了一點，而我也盡量多外出和增加室外活動。冬季天寒地凍時，經常連外出散步的意願和動力都沒有。因此最近每當有機會，便會走到公園或海灘散步，享受一下戶外的春夏氣息和陽光。

我相信大部份年青人都曾經發過一些明星夢吧，無論是跟明星接觸，又或者是自己成為明日之星。我也曾經發過不少跟明星有關的夢，其中包括夢想梁朝偉會成為我的乾哥哥！因為我在家中排行最大，小時候很希望可以有一個哥哥疼愛我，可惜沒有，所以當時便寄望於我喜歡的梁朝偉。我在日記簿上寫下了我的願望，後來被家人看到（小時候不會把日記收起），於是被取笑了很久（之後開始把日記收起）。結果，我還寫了信去一本明星雜誌的明星信箱，問梁朝偉可否收我為「契妹」？！我忘了那時我還有沒有問其他的問題，又或者他怎樣回答我，不過肯定他沒有答應收我為乾妹妹⋯⋯ （問同樣問題的少女其實有很多，他總不能全部都答應吧）於是夢想就此幻滅了。哈哈⋯⋯

原來你的祖父有一間文具精品店！我應該在小時候跟你認識呀，那麼我也可以去那裏玩和看文具了！真的是相逢恨晚呀，哈哈⋯⋯ 我可以明白到你在祖父的文具店中的快樂，因為以前我的阿姨和姨丈在澳門有一間士多，每次父母親帶我和妹妹到澳門時，阿姨都會讓我們任拿任吃！對於小孩子來說，那當然是最興奮不過的事情了。不過又當然，父母親不會淮許我們真的任拿任吃，但可以隨意地拿些零食和汽水，也已經覺得很開心了。另外，我們也會像你那樣，喜歡流連在店裡。阿姨會讓我們坐在收銀處擔任士多店員工，而我們則很過癮地在玩店員和收銀遊戲。不過其實我們甚麼大小事情和貨品價格都要逐一地問阿姨，覇佔了她的工作來玩樂，但阿姨十分疼我們，每次都讓我們玩個夠。

你的祖父很有智慧和才能呀，能夠用十元開始創業和養家。那一輩的生活確實不容易。你有沒有看過羅啟銳導演的電影《歲月神偷》？電影是為了記念導演和他已過世的哥哥之間的兄弟情而拍的，不過同時也為反映六十年代香港人的生活景況。我喜歡電影拍得很真摯感人，不會太誇張和煽情。

至於我們的父母，也同樣地經歴了不少艱難的日子，他們的成功也得來不易。來到我們這一代，路已是平坦了許多。我們是真的一代比一代幸福。除了學習長輩們鍥而不捨的精神外，我相信知足和感恩也很重要，這樣我們才會珍惜長輩們為我們所開的路，以及我們現在所擁有的一切。

上星期開參加了社區中心的健身運動班，一星期兩次，想推動自己多做運動。明天要早起，下次再寫。

趁着春夏好天氣，在公園和海灘散步。

Never Give Up

Dear Queenie,

Thanks for sharing your dreams as a youngster and about “discovering your divine Assignment”. It is true that God places different gifts and desires in our hearts to serve His wonderful purpose in life. I find it very interesting that some of our dreams are more careers oriented, and some of our dreams are just child-like desires! One of my silly teenage dream was that Aaron Kwok ( HK pop star) will fly a helicopter to Vancouver, to my school and pick me up and say “I heard about you, come with me”. LOL =)

Anyways, back to the subject, about your dream to have a stationary store, well guess what? My grandparents actually own a stationary story (文具精品店) when I lived in Hong Kong between the ages of 5-9. Every week we would go visit the store after we go to church in Chai Wai even though we lived quite far on the MTR subway line. My loving grandparents allowed me to take some stickers or cute stationary if I wanted them! But I wasn’t super spoil because I knew my limits or my parents would not allow me to grab too much. For my birthday I will get to choose one BIGGER toy from the store!

Somehow I really enjoyed this little stationary store to a point when my parents would go Dim Sum with my grandparents, I rather stay in the store and eat a BBQ pork rice box. I remember once I actually cried and wined until my parents would let me stay in the store when they went out to eat in a proper restaurant.

Later on before my grandfather passed away, he wrote a memoir about his life and how he started the store. When he and grandma came to Hong Kong during the war he only has 10 dollars in his pocket. He used to be in the army and he thinks very quickly on his feet.  He used the 10 dollars to buy some comic books. Then he will divide these comic books in to different section, rebind them together and start renting them to kids and teenagers! That was his first business!

Then eventually he made enough to feed the family of 5 children and finally they opened a neighborhood stationary store. My mom remembered as a child they were so poor that she has to sit on a flower clay pot to do her homework because they have no desks. She studied very hard and she made it to university which was a very high honor at that time! That’s where she eventually met my father and fell in love!

All in all I see how God’s hand was all over this part of my family history. Life was certainly not easy during the war times in the 50s- 60s. I admire the older generation’s perseverance in life, the “keep on surviving” kind of mentality. What a tough generation they are, their courage and tenacity in life is something we need to learn as the younger generation to “not give up” so easily when circumstances are difficult!

天賜任務

Dear Esther,

我也覺得你一直在以另一些形式去實現了你的童年夢想。除了讀音樂和在街頭表演外，平常你在參與教會敬拜及其他音樂和歌唱活動時，都讓你有機會去實踐你心底的夢想。

我讀過一本書，是講關於神在我們生命中的計劃，書名叫 “Discovering Your Divine Assignment“ （發掘你的天賜任務）。作者 Robin Chaddock 指出，其實我們每個人都有各自的「天賜任務」（Divine Assignment），而這天賜任務是由我們的「中心熱情」（Central Passion）和「最大力量」（Greatest Strength）所組合而成的。

我以前以為寫作就是我的天賜任務，但看了這書後才發現，原來寫作只是一種途徑，幫助我去實踐我的天賜任務。該書作者指出，那些我們從小到大所擁有和累積的恩賜、才能和技巧等，其實都只是神放在我們的生命裡，幫助我們去實踐天賜任務的預備和供應，不過這些東西並不是我們的天賜任務，它們只是當中的一些媒介和途徑而已。所以我相信，神一直以來所給你的音樂天份、技能和經驗，也是為了預備和幫助你去實踐你的天賜任務。

（關於如何找出自己真正的中心熱情、最大力量和天賜任務，可參閱該書的解構。我覺得大家無論是否已經找到了人生目標，這本書都能夠啟發和幫助我們更深入地認識自己，看見神在我們的生命中的預備和計劃，並且以最簡潔和明確的定義去說明我們的天賜任務。很值得參考的一本書。）

至於你的另一個童年夢想，以你現在的工作和事奉網絡來看，說不定有一天真的會實現呀！到時候你也許又會再次發現，原來神早已在開始裝備着你呢！

說到童年夢想，如果問在香港長大的朋友，他們在小時候讀書時，都一定曾經在中文課上寫過「我的志願」的作文，而且幾乎是每年寫一次。在我的記憶中，我只記得自己曾經寫過我的志願是成為一位老師。可是我忘了那時是真的想長大後當老師，還是只為了作文而選擇寫老師。

另外我也好像曾經寫過想當書局老闆。那年代的書局規模比較小，主要是賣文具和書本的（但對於我這小朋友來說只是文具店，因為我不會買書嘛）。而當時我家樓下就有一間書局，我和妹妹經常都會走去玩或買東西，所以也自然希望自己也可以擁有一間。（其實也想擁有一間士多，汽水零食可以隨便拿，哈哈⋯⋯）

不過其實我真正的童年夢想是擁有一間文具精品店（跟書局不一樣，不賣書和普通的文具，只賣可愛和漂亮的東西）。在我上小學時，經常會經過學校附近一間很狹窄的文具精品店。店內除了門口外，其餘所有地方和三面牆上都放滿了各式各樣、彩色繽紛，既精美又可愛的文具和精品。這對於那時還未認識甚麼是日本貨，甚麼是 Sanrio 的我來說，那小小的店舖就已經有如是一個繽紛的樂園。而大概就是從上小學不久後，我便開始愛上了文具精品，一直到現在仍然喜愛。所以小時候最夢想的，其實是擁有一間那樣的文具精品店。不過這夢想就未曾在學校的作文課寫過。今天總算有機會寫出來了，哈哈⋯⋯

至於其他的志願，我已想不起寫過甚麼了，但也就表示那些都並不是我真正的夢想。

其實我從小到大一直都有許多的夢想和心願，而我也發現這些夢想和心願，或多或少都在引領和幫助着我，去成就神在我生命裡的計劃。每次當想到神如何在我們的生命裡安排、預備和帶領我們，我就覺得祂真是一位奇妙又體貼細心的神。

Childhood Dreams

Dear Queenie,

What are you childhood dreams?

One of my childhood dreams for career was to be a street performer playing guitar and singing like a gypsy! But of course this kind of dream is not what a typical Chinese family would allow!

I guess this dream did somewhat came true in 2 ways:

1) I majored in music and minored in psychology in my bachelor degree. So I was able to learned and participate much as a musician.

2) For a summer, me and my musician friend (just the 2 of us) were busking at Granville Island. Busking is when people perform on the street for money. We were singing and playing jazz with piano, guitar and the flute.

The audience who are watching would throw money in our guitar case, but usually the money is just enough for lunch. Some of the other more serious performers told us we should record a CD and sell it, that’s where the real income comes from. But for us since we are not depending on this for a living, we didn’t care about the money and just focused on enjoying the atmosphere. Sometimes we get to sing songs about God, glorifying God’s name amongst the many tourists and locals!

I remember a Caucasian gentleman who is a tourist came up to me and said “You have a beautiful voice. But I am more amazed that Vancouver is such a diverse and multicultural place! Here I am at Granville Island enjoying a coffee and eating sushi while listening to an Asian girl singing jazz in Spanish!” One of the jazz songs that I sing is Spanish. The funny thing is I don’t really know what the lyrics means except for the title “Beseme Mucho” which means “kiss me more”.

Back to other childhood dreams, I use to dream about being an interpreter for high level leaders in China. I remember watching TV and one of the government officials was having a conversation with another political leader from a western country. The interpreter sitting behind the Chinese official is a Caucasian person! I thought to myself, that’s kind of cool, it must be an interesting job to be an interpreter. And if he is Caucasian and can do a good job in interpreting, maybe I can do it too, just need to study my Chinese language better!

一起看世界

Dear Esther,

我喜歡看海，因為看着那一望無際的大海，讓人感覺舒服和自由自在。

平日有時候我會自己或跟朋友一起，到海邊或公園散步，又或者坐在那裡，望着大海和天空，吹一下海風和傾聽海浪聲。在大自然裡，感覺內心特別平靜，所以我也喜愛在那裡跟神聊天，細聽祂對我說的話。

昨天我剛和朋友一起去了海邊吃午餐和散步，而那段時間剛好沒有下雨，而且還有點陽光呢！

有人說，兩個人走在一起，他們的世界不應該是越來越小（變得只有他們自己），而應該是越來越大的（一起擴展他們的世界）。能夠有一位陪伴你去看世界，引導你去感受和欣賞大自然的丈夫，真有福呀！：）

你丈夫的童年志願很有趣！不過神在他的生命裡有更高的呼召。沒有成為觀鯨領隊和公園管理員，卻成為了事奉工作中的領隊和管理者，這也可以說是一種預備和擴張吧。

其實我也常提醒自已要保持童心，要學習小孩子那樣單純和好奇地看世界。小孩子可以一天玩到晚，因為他們覺得許多東西都很新奇、有趣和好玩。我也很欣賞和佩服小朋友的觀察力和創作力，他們總是不斷地發掘和創新。而且他們創作時也不會有太多的壓力和顧慮，反而比大人純真、坦率和勇敢得多。

說到小朋友，除了喜愛看到他們的可愛樣子外，我也很喜歡買禮物給他們！哈哈⋯⋯ 除了我的乾女兒外，我身邊很多同輩的朋友也都有了孩子，所以經常都有機會買禮物給小朋友。現在的童裝和玩具實在款色太多、太趣緻和漂亮了！雖然不是買給自己，但每次我都買得很開心。這個月也有幾位朋友生了 BB 呢！又是時候去童裝店逛一逛了。